Atkins Rules!

I'm still alive

2007-03-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

Right now I am just trying to get through all my doctor's visits to finally get some kind of treatment for my problem that I have written about before. As it turns out, yes , I do have a fibroid tumor. The doctor told me that it was not small and that it was located in an area of my uterus that could cause a lot of problems. Because this fibroid actually causes digestive problems such as gas and bloating (creating an oversized uterus that is pressing against the bowels) and bladder incontinence (again the same except pressing against the bladder), I wonder if it is causing the problem with acid reflux. It would make sense. Still diet does help, as I have discovered in the past. All the symptons, in some respects, of pregnancy but none of the benefits (such as baby). I am not sure what treatment I will choose. As much as I just want a hysterectomy to get things over with, I cannot afford the 6 weeks off work. And I am self paying, I don't have insurance.

But I am so off track. A. and I are discussing Atkins and she is interested in starting atkins again, which means, if she does it, it will be easier for me to get back on track. Unfortunately I have gained most of my weight back. Still, from my research, I truly believe that if I get this problem taken care of, get my blood hemoglobin back up (get rid of my anemia) I could lose more weight faster. I cannot prove this, but soome of my research on anemia seems to indicate to me that anemia can affect your metabolism because of lack of oxygen to the cells, just as it can affect your heart and brain for the same reasons. I see so many people with so many problems, being diagnosed with all kinds of things because of lack of energy, etc. I wonder if it isn't really some kind of anemia. Anemia could be an easy condition being masked by other conditions and vice versa--and unless you have a similar problem to mine, it would be easy for the doctors to diagnose you with something other than anemia.
Anemia has to be one of the cheapest problems to fix. Supplements are inexpensive and combined with certain dietary changes, you should be able to help yourself. Of course, this isn't what the pharms would like nor the doctors who benefit. But that is it. The next time you go to the doctor, have him do a simple cheap finger prick to check for anemia. I wonder if there aren't alot more people out there who have this that are being treated for other conditions that are really just anemia because the pharms and doctors need to make a profit. I had found a nice website with some good info but I can no longer find it. I will post the link here when I find it again.

I know... I know

2007-02-14T15:49:00.000-08:00

Yes, it has been awhile. Oh, there is so much I can talk about, but I must confess that I will have to start all over with the lowcarb thing. It is the only right diet that I have found for me--and lots of reasons why. I have talked about this before, but here is something that I knew but forgot about: heartburn or whatever you want to call it. While low carb dieting, I never have this problem (I think everyone but me calls it acid reflux), but if I am eating bread and rice and potatoes, etc., I have to deal with it every night. And it is never noncarb veggies or protein--it is high carb foods. I am bad and I have to confess I am off track.

However, sometimes, I get these great insights, such as why is the whole "good carb: "bad carb" thing such a bunch of baloney? Carbohydrates are far more complicated than: an apple is a fruit and therefore a complex carb and a good carb, whereas a donut is a simple carb and is therefore bad. Believe it or not, some vegetables have few if any carbs: see Dr. Atkins's lists. I really think that 99% of the stuff you see on tv ("just eat a balanced diet...." "just eat low fat this that or the other...." etc) is B S. The whole thing is that eating meat is evil. It all boils down to that and that is BS too. Actually, I think there is something to the eating animal fat that is actually probably good for us that the secret undercover PETA reps don't want us to know. Not to mention the truth that a diet high in carbs leaves you fat, lazy, and complacent. A. and I figured this out from what we feed our cats. KitKat, our youngest, is the fattest and laziest of our cats. When fed on a high moisture, high protein canned cat food diet where the primary ingredient is animal products (meat, real meat), she is wired up and alert, ready for action. If fed on a dry food diet (and dry cat foods are full of carbs primarily in the form of cornmeal), she sleeps all the time, gets fat, and is constantly whining for her dish to be filled. It makes me wonder about 3rd world countries where the primary source of nutrition is a high carbs diet, consisting of small amounts of protein and huge amounts of rice. Personally I don't want to live as if in a third world country. I find nothing particularly spirtually edifying about poverty--maybe all those environmentalists and anti capitalists, socialists, and leftists do, but I don't. I do not want to eat like I am living in a third world country either. Let the above mentioned groups go there and do just that.

Well, a trip to a doctor for a pap smear has revealed that I have iron-deficient anemia due to so much blood loss. I have written about the problem that causes this situation before: menorraghia. Another reason to get rid of that problem. One of the best things to help this form of anemia: meat. Granted liver and organ meats are the best but these are the very things I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I have never had kidney, but I have no desire to either. I am not as openminded as I was as a kid. I hated liver then, too, so I don't think anything would have changed, except that I would not be afraid to vomit if I found the taste disgusting. But I could eat extra beef and yes, I like beef. Cows good. Cows good dinner. Yummy!!!!

Getting on track

2007-01-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it were really worth it to me to resort to going back to normal, everyday eating habits. I won't have this job for much longer, my boss simply hates me. See, there's a good lesson about not conforming in order to succeed. Never give up what is right or what is right for you to come down to someone else's level in order to fit in. I don't fit in here either, and my job is really on the line. I think she has an interview for my position on her calendar for this week too. But I'm glad. I am a paralegal, not an administrative assistant, and the job is actually pretty boring. But I'm not the kind who cuts and runs: "they have to throw me out first." That means letting myself get canned. I am not comfortable with this boss--I feel as if I am walking on eggshells all the time, which makes the job more stressful than it ought to be. She assumes that I can read minds: if I have to ask a question, I get a horrible belittling. If I don't ask the question, try to read her mind as to what she wants, then it is always wrong, no matter what decision I make. She has been in her position as program director for so long (not such a big deal, this is a three "woman" office ), that she has little clue as to what it is like to be in my position or how long things actually take to complete. She's been earning a large enough salary for so long, that she doesn't understand what it is like to not be able to afford things--like a good car. One day, I had to run some things over to her house (in one of Dayton's nicest neighborhoods at that), and my car (which needed work on its waterpump) was running just a tad hot and you could smell it. She had the nerve to criticize my car. Well, being concerned about keeping my job, I had my daughter and her boyfriend work on it as soon as they could. That meant being out in the freezing cold for several hours. Actually, my daughter and her boyfriend, out of concern for me, chose to do that and on that weekend. But still............. My health means more to me than that. I shouldn't have to give up a lifestyle that works for me, and that was on the verge of being successful.

Yes, I am really being bad

2007-01-07T11:23:00.000-08:00

Until, I can get back into the low carb groove of things, I think I will have a few blowouts of some of my favorite foods--chinese, thai, indian, etc., etc. LIke I stated before, I haven't actually gained any of my weight back, I just feel a little unenergetic and "weighed down". I think white flour products do that too me.

I don't want to sound hypocritical here. I don't want people who love their white bread, etc., to feel bad about eating it. I think people should eat however they choose. Just that for me, eating a lot of white flour products leaves me feeling yuccky. But that is just me. I find that low carbing is the best: I get to eat meat without feeling guilty, get to use real cream, real whipped cream (hey, little girl would you like some coffee with that whipped cream), real butter--Atkins rules for a reason. And yes, I actually eat more vegetables on Atkins than I would if I were doing low fat. In fact, I can state unequivocably (because I do this now), that the broccoli, cauliflower, celery, and spinach in my fridge would be turning every nasty color and smelling quite badly by now if I were doing low fat: it leaves me too hungry. Low carbing doesn't. Yes, I get hungry but not in the way that sends me careening to the cookie jar. People have this mistaken notion that since we eat more protein on a low carb diet, that we don't eat any veggies, which then, gives the low fat religionists smug moral superiority. The truth is, we eat veggies--lots of veggies, except the really starchy ones like potatoes. And eventually, once we are ready for maintenance, we can do the occasional potato. As I have said before, for most people, the only real veggie is the potato. But that isn't correct for us on Atkins. I think there is a deliberate attempt to deceive the public about nutrition.

Back in the 70's when I was a young girl, before the low fat religion was born, it was commonly accepted that protein is what helps you get slim. I've even read comments by rock climbers, people who eat loads of carbs, that the reason for doing so, is to help them develop layers of fat that can be life saving in the event of a fall. Other extreme athletes carbo load for quick energy for while they are participating in sports that require those bursts. The same does not work for me. Then there is all this talk about "complex carbs" and "simple carbs". The powers that be would have you believe that white bread is a simple carb, whereas an apple is a complex carb. IT is not that simple. And lets face it, some veggies like broccoli, salad greens, caulflower, asparagus--actually have little or no carbohydrate content whatsoever. Yet you would be left to believe that these are complex carbs. Yes, someone wants you fat, complacent, lazy, and ultimatly sick. Whether this is to create a dependence on government for health care, I don't know although I think things are going in this direction. Still, people know what works for them and what does not. It is not up to the powers that be to tell people what they should eat. Decide that for yourself and how you will deal with whatever consequences.

Confession

2007-01-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I am off the wagon, so to speak. I have been eating "regular"--and not low carb. I know I am not losing weight right now, but my clothes aren't any tighter. Still, everything I thought about eating the "normal" American diet, full of carbs, is true. The bitter biting hunger has returned which leads to eating even worse. Still, I see some permanent changes are still in place--I still don't eat as much--I no longer gorge myself. But I do not know how long this will last.

It will be hard because A. isn't low carbing. She's not gaining weight, in fact, losing a little, but she is eating a diet very high in carbs. Oh well, gotta keep trying. I am planning to get back to where I need to be within the next week. I have already stocked up on eggs. When I get paid, I will go low carb shopping.

197 lbs in spite of myself

2006-11-24T10:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, I made it to 197, in spite of the fact that I haven't been low carbing like I should. I think, though, that my desire to keep losing weight is forcing me to strategize, which is probably a good thing. I am not letting things get out of control, which is easy to do. The key, once you take off the weight, is probably to develop strategies to at least maintain your desired weight, while living and enjoying life. And, let's face it, food is part of enjoying life. I'm so sick of these fringe groups trying to tell us or to guilt trip us into eating what they think we should eat. I mean the far out tofu protein only groups, PETA, organic foods groups, etc. If you really love tofu and that is part of enjoying life, go for it. But don't push it on me. Tofu is full of estrogen and would actually be bad for me. Besides, enjoying life means some thing like a big juicy steak and a rich chocolate dessert to me. I'm sick of food guilt. I will renew my committment to the only diet that has ever worked for me: Atkins (which is really a diet about enjoying life). No guilt about steak there.

Blahhhhhhhh!!!!

2006-11-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

I feel like hell today. I am feeling bloated and disgusted. I know part of the reason why I am feeling this bloating but I wonder if I had stuck to very very low carb, I would be having this problem. This is what a "normal" diet does for me, only now that I have felt what it feels like to feel good, I recognize the difference. This week was pretty bad in that I ate regular sandwiches on white bread as I would have if I were not doing low carb. I also ate candy, sugar candy. Not good. Dr. Atkins sure knew what he was doing. God bless him!!!!!

Watched a DVD of a tv series by Penn & Teller called "Bulls**t", it was pretty good except that they had an episode on dieting, and I agreed with most of it, except when they mentioned the Atkins diet. Still, the mention was brief, and misguided, misinformed, and actually an underhanded compliment: the complaint was that instead of burning carbs for energy, you burn fat. Isn't that the idea behind all the exercise gadgets, low fat diets, etc.? It is an underhanded compliment, because they don't seem to realize that is desireable. Still the rest of it was quite informative. Like all those supplements, gadgets, videos that are being advertised as the cure all for weightloss. Guess what the company does: they seek out athletes who have been injured and out of practice. Guess what happens while they are recuperating from their injuries? They put on fat like you would not believe. The company gets a before pic, then later after the athlete recuperates, they get another and use it. Voila! I used to weigh this much but now thanks to using this product, I look like this and weigh this.

I personally always believed that in aerobic exercise videos that everyone there went from one exercise class to another for several hours a day, 5 days a week. I wouldn't be surprised if that or something like it were the case.

I am one of those people who cannot have large amounts of carbs. I must understand that.

198 lbs

2006-10-29T11:25:00.000-08:00

Just so that I don't start gaining again, I did lose another lb. Yes, I am at 198. But right now I am on a slippery slope, not making the best food choices as I was before. I am not out walking, except that at work, I will go out and walk down to the courts if need be. I will be okay, I just need to make sure I have control. I find myself finding it very difficult to cook any other way than low carb. My poor daughter. Sometimes low carb and low fat aren't that different. A few adjustments, and voila. It can be done. Still, I have some work to do, with this. I am not out of danger and run the risk of going back to choosing junk over real food.

Some other stuff

2006-10-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

Was just out to Jimmie Moore's blog. I am sorry that he lost his job, but I can tell you that I am the expert at it. It's been a long time since I have worked at the same job for any significant period of time, and this new job, I just don't know if it will work out. I work with an extremely obese (much bigger than me), lesbian, who has no intention of changing her eating habits to lose weight. I really have never said anything, but I can hear her at her desk, huffing and puffing away. I have had cow orkers in this shape before, whose weight was so bad, they could barely walk. I said, on the first day, that I was doing atkins, so the huge candy jar in front of me was no big deal. I don't think she liked me after that. And it may boil down to her liking me, if I have a job after 90 days. Really. My one other co worker, was a classmate of mine in a paralegal studies program and she has really gained some weight. I really need to get along with my coworker and boss, I really, really need this job. I think that is why I allowed myself to cheat last week, so that they would see a "real person" and not a crusader. I will not, though, allow myself to slip back to old eating habits. No, no, no. Back when I worked for KeyBank in their "Answer Bank" dept (like a call center, customer service center, except that we assisted branch employees with procedures, and not real customers), I had two team leaders who were so overweight that their bellies literally hung down to their knees. One, I think, suffered from dwarfism anyway, which made her appear to be more overweight, and the guy was so bad that you could hear him breathing all over the floor. It would sound like he was resentful of having to assist someone, but really his breathing was that labored. I think he went on to have surgery for his weight problem. I just hope he is okay--actually a real loveable kind of fellow.

Life now

2006-10-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

I admit that I had sandwiches last week with regular bread on them, and I have skipped breakfast a couple of mornings. Somehow since the weather has changed, and is colder, I feel a much greater need to sleep, and on those two mornings, I really wanted to sleep to the last minute, then get up, rush around and get to work. I keep forgetting that I have Atkins bars in my kitchen. Anyway, it doesn't appear that I have gained any weight, but before things get out of control, I need to get back on track. Today it will be eggs and bacon when I finally get downstairs, and a good walk, whether or not it rains. A. has decided to go low fat and give up low carbing. I will continue to low carb, that is refraining from sweets, white flour products, and trying to eat a more natural diet. I may add some more fruit, and try to stay at the low glycemic end of the diet spectrum, although, I don't know if I am ready for plain low fat milk, oatmeal (and I love oatmeal) for breakfast. That might be too many carbs for that time of the day, although, I do best with having my carbs earlier in the day. Oatmeal does have the nice benefit of filling you up and not getting hungry as quickly. Still, I will stick with primarily protein. I did buy some low carb milk and higggghhhh fiber, flax cereal from the health food section of the grocery store, and the carb count, once you deduct the fiber, isn't so bad. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised that it tasted so good. What I will probably do is make sure that I have some good protein to go with any carbs i have in the morning. Losing weight isn't just about eliminating things from one's diet, it needs to also be about making good choices: apple or candy bar? This or that? Eventually, I will want to have fruit, and other carbs, so it is important now to start making those difficult choices (and sometimes a candy bar and an apple is a difficult choice) now into habits, habits that won't fall by the wayside later on. I never want to go back to my old eating habits. I would have chosen the candy bar over the apple, and been hungry enough to eat an entire grocery store candy rack in 10 minutes after eating it. I can remember eating entire bags of cookies, etc., etc. I never want that ever again.

New Job, new food issues

2006-10-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

I just got another job and started wednesday. I hope this one works out. For the first couple of days it looked like I would have to brownbag it everyday because neither my boss or my coworker are dieters--they like to eat and eat everything. And they do it with a vengeance. I had forgotten that Roly Poly does do low carb wraps, so Weds and Thurs, I cheated at lunch, although not too bad. But A., who works right across the street reminded me of the other place, so that is where I ate Friday. I had a low carb wrap with some kind of chicken salad, thai spicy stuff in it, lots of lettuce and cashews. Yummy but hot, hot, hot. Friday night we went out celebrating and I still did pretty good. Still, I am afraid to weigh myself. Maybe some extra exercise today will do the trick.

What is new today

2006-10-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

I am wondering what is helping me with my energy levels? I have had more energy lately than I have had in a long time. Is it the vitamines and supplements I have been taking? I am also taking one packet of Emergen-C, an energy vitamin supplement that you put in water and drink, on top of my supplements that I take in pill form. I am also eating more carbs, in the form of low carb bread, but I eat that in my first meal of the day. In addition, I have increased my veggie intake, even if it is not in the form of salads (salads are easier to deal with than having to cook veggies). I don't know quite what it is, if it is maybe all of these things, but if so, I think I will keep doing them . I like energy. I like having more energy than I have had in a long time, and would like much more. In addition, I am at the PMS point of the month, and I don't feel miserable. Is it the dong quai? I think so, and I am not going to stop using it. It is already in my vitamins and I have teas to drink too. Yayyyyyy!!!

I will admit, though, that yesterday, I did not go out and walk like I should have. I sat around and read alot, knitted, and watched movies. Today, as soon as I get done with my blogs, it will become a priority. I might even go to a golf range and work on my technique.

So I have lost 2 more lbs

2006-10-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

This puts me at 199. All I can do is yahooooooo!!! I will have to say that adding more veggies besides iceberg and various lettuces from salads such as broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus and eating them more frequently has helped. Additionally, walking and day hiking has helped alot. And eating a big breakfast. There is something about eating when you first get up (whether at 8 or 11 a.m.) that helps too. I am eating more carbs and that might be helping my energy levels to allow me to get out and exercise and work around the house (I am up and down the stairs alot). So, at least, I have something worthwhile to report. We are in the process of acquiring a stationary bike and a treadmill that some people are wanting to get rid of. People pay good money for these things and then end up getting rid of them. My problem is where to put them. Oh, I am sure we will find someplace. Hopefully near a tv. I notice that I am not eating while watching tv. My knitting is far more interesting and gives my hands something to do. That is a big change.

It's Sunday

2006-10-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

I am now at the point where exercise is going to be crucial. I am going off induction and into ongoing weightloss now. Last week I did get out and walk more so than I have been doing. The weather is much cooler and breezier than over the summer. The leaves are changing quickly. I did not exercise yet this weekend so I will do some extra today. The question: to go to the park or to Clifton Gorge, or John Bryant state park. Clifton Gorge is beautiful and if I can get A. to allow me to post her pics on here I will show you. Hard to believe such beauty so close to home. Maybe JB st park. some place I have yet to discover. I used to live in Warren County, south of Dayton, where we had Caesar's Creek State Park. Talk about hiking!!! And a wonderful beach, and lots of boat ramps. Unfortunately, around the late nineties, Canada geese discovered the beach area too. That means lots of large goose droppings. Not only that but people who brought their dogs out there were not cleaning up after them. Then after that, there was the little issue of me being the mother of a young impressionable girl, and lots of gay men wearing nothing more than thong speedos and a woman who fought for the right (in court, no doubt) to sunbathe topless did not mix. Maybe I need to take a trip out there since I have not been there in so long. Hopefully, all these things have changed. Still, I have some unexplored places closer to home.

So therein are my plans for the day. I notice that my energy level is better than it has been. Yesterday was very stormy and so I sat around watching movies, knitting, and reading. Notice I did not say I sat around watching tv and eating. One thing about such a diet as Atkins, almost all junky snack foods are high carb which means you aren't going to have them in the house. So I focused on watching my "Killer Clowns from Outer Space" movie and some old Vincent Price movies (after all it is nearing Halloween--got to get into the mood). I knitted while watching. This is a big change from when I would have been in the kitchen constantly seeking something to munch on. So, I will say that this is a milestone.

A little more yayyyy!

2006-09-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I said I hit the 200 mark. Well, that was really 200.4. Today it was 200 even. I don't think I have even had an even weight like that since I started (and the fact that we have a scale that is digital and records ounces. It was only 4 oz but that is progress--not like the last few weeks where I hovered between 201 and 204. I found, buried in my daughter's closet, a pair of Tommy Hilfinger blue jeans, size 16 (but, I might add, a small 16, as I can already wear some 16s). I bought them many years ago when I had lost a lot of weight via near starvation. (I must have prayed for anorexia). I paid $70 for them, and they are still like new. I think my daughter must have snagged them (not like I got any use out of them for a few years), but at least now I really have something to look forward to. I think another 10 lbs will get me into them. Let's at least hope that by actually eating, and not letting myself go hungry that I can get there. I made it to 200 and am nearing my minigoal of <200 so my next mini goal will be to get into those jeans -- get them fastened, and to be able to wear them. Does that rule or what.

I have borrowed some other diet books from the library, some of which I found recommended on mr livinlavidalowcarb, Jimmie Moore's blog. I haven't really had a chance to read and review them yet. I love Dr. Atkins, but there may be some other strategies that I can try still involving low carb that may help to bump up the weightloss. I have actually eaten more this week than in previous weeks, so maybe eating when one is truly hungry is what needs to happen. I don't think I will try the fasting approach, unless I am truly not hungry. In fact, I have eaten three eggs almost everyday this week for breakfast. And last night we cheated and chicken nuggets from Wendy's. There is something to be said for eating period.

Any way, A. is saying something about finding a job on a website that might interest me. It would help if I go where I can hear her.

Yayyyyy!!!

2006-09-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

I finally lost another pound. I am down to the 200 mark. Yes, yes, yes!!! Not much to contemplate today. This is just so cool.

Whoa!!

2006-09-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

Check out this article on soy!! Was I shocked or what? However, I was suspicious that soy would not be good for someone with my female problems stemming from too much estrogen: But get a load of this article as there's a lot more to this soy thing than just estrogen: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/08/13/CMGJKK1BP31.DTL&type=health

The author confirms my suspicion about the estrogen issue. Too much estrogen leads to cancers and to my problem, menoragghia. Sure just don't drink soy milk or eat tofu. I just wish it were that simple. Soy has slipped its little green claws into just about everything we consume, that is when it comes to processed foods. Something that can be made into just about everything could not really be that good for you. Originally, soy beans were used as a ferilizer in China until it was discovered that fermenting them made them edible. And we know how that came about. Originally even they did not eat them, but because of certain toxins in them, that protected them from predators, they were probably grown in and around the edible crops to keep away birds, etc. In addition, allowing the beans to decay and using them around edible crops probably did help as well. No, the eating of soy probably came as a result of a famine in which starving families had to eat whatever they could find. Necessity is the mother of invention and this is it. China, historically speaking, has suffered many famines, and one could argue that it is better to eat something potentially harmful than to starve to death. The current soy craze is a push by vegetarians to push their own anti-business, anti-eating animals onto the American public. No doubt groups like PETA help this along. Yet we may be harming ourselves. Just because it is a plant does not mean that it is good for us and will cure everything. Yep, those dead animals might be the better still. They were for our ancestors. I just wonder how many women out there with cancer have cancer, not because they didn't use enough soy products, but because they did. France and Israel both have apparently issued public health warnings particularly for women and children as you will see in the article. Hey, and what about those Frenchmen, eating their eggs in souffles, using cream, and eating brie (how about triple creme too), and drinking wine. By American standards they should all be dead from heart attacks. :) Maybe they know something we don't.

Honestly, I will be sticking to my dairy, real dairy, just like those Frenchmen, and my real animal flesh. Admittedly, I may, in the near future, find myself eating red meat only occasionally, with most of my diet consisting of fish and chicken (happy chickens :))

And soy products or by-products end up in pet foods. Personally, my own daughter has been on this nutritional crusade for her pet ferrets, Twinkie and Bear. I like them but I'd rather not have them around, seeing as I am the one that cleans up after them. But on the internet, she found out a bunch of information about ferret food. I only wish she were as concerned about her own diet. Still she has a point. I have been thinking about my best buddy's diet, and cat food is a nightmare. I really don't have that much experience with dogs, but I am sure it is similar. I had never really paid attention to it before, but after having read articles about pets getting to be overweight, I began looking at the ingredients labels of various cat foods. Nipper eats, and has been verrrry content, with Purina One, with the pink label stating that it contained real salmon and tuna. For the price, I guess one cannot argue that that might not be a bad deal. Except that salmon and tuna, real salmon and tuna, are 13th and 14th on the list. The first thing on the ingredients list is "chicken by products". Other, very expensive brands, are not much better. Often the first ingredient is "chicken meal" or "fish meal". Then guess what? Lots of corn meal. If it is second or third in the list, it is pretty accurate to say that there is quite a bit of corn meal in the diet. I don't know about you, but I have yet to see a cat eat corn muffins or corn bread. Left to themselves, in the right environment, domestic cats will go for fresh birdie or mousie any day. Their diet requires extremely amounts of proteins, and what they are getting fed is a high carb diet. From what I have seen, canned cat foods are not much better. I can see why articles like this appear. I will say that Nipper is not overweight, she is just about right. But I also notice that she does not eat alot.
She nibbles her dry cat food, which, by the way, I am in the process of changing. Purina One has just recently come out with something so much better: Purina One now has something called Natural Blends, and nicely enough, chicken is the most important and first ingredient. While we are working on that change over, I also discovered that our local supermarkets are stocking an all organic cat food, called By Nature Organic which lists either fish or organic chicken as the primary ingredients. No chicken by products and the remaining in gredients are all organic. It may not be necessary to do everything organic, but that looks a lot better than "chicken by products"--that is ground up chicken beaks and claws, and god only knows what else.

What else? Well, I am glad I don't have to feel guilty about not gettin my soy in. And today, diet wise was a reasonably good day for me. We had celery and herbed cream cheese for a snack, I had a cup of herb tea, and for dinner we had a nice salad and crustless quiche--with broccoli, cheese, and bacon. Yummy!!! I did try to go out to walk and discovered that I could not make it around like I did yesterday. So as yesterday I did 2.6 miles, I could only do 3/4 of a mile today. Need to set some goals.

Ticker results

2006-09-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

I tried to create a ticker at ticker factory, but I am not sure how I want it to show up. I guess I should just try it here. Let's see, so that I can get to showing my results thus far (not big and I haven't weighed in a few days):

Exercise!!!

2006-09-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, that evil 8 letter word!!!! 4 letter words are supposed to be bad, but 8 letters must equal extra bad. :) I have been going out and walking which I suppose is a good thing. What I am enjoying about walking is that I can just move, get some fresh air, and allow my mind to wander. I have decided to give up on focusing on exercise as if it were some foreign element I had to add to my daily routine. And I think this is a problem for a lot of people. I don't own any exercise equipment, and we really don't have the money or space for it. A nice walk at the park or at night around town from our place on Broad street to the central ave downtown area which, it being near Halloween time, is lit up like it was Christmas, because of Foy's Halloween stores. (The ghouls climbing up and down the buildings and standing on the roofs are pretty cool in the dark with certain types of lights shining on them). I admit that I am not enthused at all about what is known as "aerobic exercise". Remember all those exercise videos: Jane Fonda, Richard Simmons, etc., and the "aerobic dance" craze. People still do that stuff and I used to, but now I hate it. That kind of exercise, I am not sure if it is even healthy--just a way to sell exercise videos and equipment. Then there is all the having to figure out target heart rates and taking pulses. That just seems unnatural. This type of exercise was designed for aerobic dance instructors and aging movie stars to make money. I did this stuff for years without really losing fat. Maybe it was the fact that I was still on a high carb diet, even low fat. But still, as exhausting and strenuous as it was, I did not lose weight or fat very well.

If you ever watch infomercials, each claims to have the final answer to weightloss. Yet , if you were to purchase them, you'd soon discover that they are all the same in certain ways: low fat dieting is recommended, and the workouts are typical dance aerobics, with some weight training and ab work. There is nothing different really between them. You might find one or two that has some real latin or hip hop dance moves which might be fun, but they are still the same old same old crap. I have finally given up on stuff like this. Why not really dance? I remember a Snoopy comic strip in which Snoopy is dancing, joyful dancing, and his little bubble which shows him thinking says that (paraphrased) "Dancing is the purest artform". And I think there is some truth to that, making the human body the original way to express emotions, and ideas, and to tell
a story. Mankind needed no props--just his or her own body. Later as man needed more props, he invented music and painting, etc. I cannot imagine disciplined exercise more appropriate as dancing: only now, you don't necessarily have to take ballet classes (not bad though, as I have done a long time ago), but now we have all kinds of latin dancing, ballroom dancing (very much in vogue now), not to mention the kind of freestyle and yes, "dirty dancing" so controversial because teenagers like doing it. The body is moving which is what it is meant to be doing. Learning to dance and going dancing are great entertainment and have great social value. Somewhere in there is also calorie and fat burning and fun.

Walking and running and possibly swimming, I believe, are mankinds most original forms of exercise and a good place to start, if you haven't already. Just walking is good for me because that is when I do my most creative thinking and get my best ideas. Running will be good, once I get in better shape, just as a fun challenge to see how far I can run or to set goals for myself. And
swimming. Swimming is great for building endurance without damaging your legs and knees. I like learning the technique as well. Kind of like learning a new dance step. There is that sense of accomplishment, something that you know how to do and can add to your roster of things you know. These are probably the best forms of exercise there are.

Back to the fun and skill category: roller skating, ice skating, tennis, golf, bicycing, etc. Why not take up sports and have fun. And if you must do something considered aerobic, why not roller and ice skating. You could easily make it that way--and have fun at the same time. If you are focused on the fun you are having or the challenge or learning something new, that type of exercise won't seem so "foreign" to you. Golf is fun and you really don't need a partner to play. I love tennis and would love to get out and work on those tennis skills I took 2 semesters to learn, but I really don't have a good partner to play with. A. had to learn to hit a tennis ball in pe class but I don't thing the instructor really gave them some serious lessons or helped them to learn any good skills. But that is typical at the high school level. Most colleges do offer pe courses in specialized sports and sport skills, which was something I also was lucky enought to get in high school, although it does not seem to be that way anymore.

Alright, enough. I want to learn some real dancing, work more on walking, tennis, golf, swimming, etc. rather than the old treadmill or aerobics video.

Now let me rant about fat kids. Granted, kids are eating crappy diets, but think about this: how many parents really push their kids to get outside of the house, go riding their bicycles, play baseball, etc. Most kids, I believe, are wholed up in the house playing video games or surfing the web, when they aren't watching tv. I can remember only getting to watch tv maybe an hour a day, when I was at home. And then, there had to be something specific to watch. Of course, there were no computers or video games, so my brother, niece, and I were, for the most part, forced outside into the sunshine, in the backyard. We played with toys, but most of our activity was physical--meant we were in and out of the swimming pool, climbing and swinging on the swingset (my favorite was to get going as high as possible and then jumping from the swing), turning cartwheels and doing handstands, backbends, etc. We chased each other around, and then in the middle of the late afternoon, we might go inside and watch a tv program that was geared to kids. On one of the local stations, they had "Clubhouse 22" which had kids right there on camera, puppets, a person in a dog costume: Duffy the dog, and Malcom the host. Mostly this was a backdrop of kiddie entertainment with cartoons interspersed. Other than that and maybe HeHaw on Saturdays and Shock Theatre on Sunday afternoons. that was the limit of our tv watching. (oops, I did forget Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and Captain Kangaroo in the mornings).Still our tv viewing is nothing compared to nowadays. Moms and dads who use tv to keep their kids in line and then feeding them a steady diet of fast food does not help their children. But I have to add, pe classes at school.

In elementary school, the kids might play kickball or do some tumbling. But as they get older, if the schools aren't actually teaching them specific sports skills, something is wrong. And the thing is that in too many public school districts, phys ed is not taken seriously as it should be. My daughter told me about learning "tennis" in her phys ed class: just knock around a ball, no instruction in technique, etiquette, or score keeping. Most of what was done in phys ed wasn't even worth talking about. If obesity is such a problem with children, some things have to change and phys ed classes in school are at the top of the list.

Well, gotta run for now. Maybe I will come up with some other junk to talk about later on.

I'm glad

2006-09-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm glad I waited until I ready Jimmie's post about his experiment with IF--intermittant fasting. Honestly, I understand that people today use it for health reasons, and in other times for religious reasons, but I don't think the human body was designed to be deprived of food for long periods of time. I think that, if the truth were known, most of all those visions of supernatural beings, including gods, including visions as read about in the bible and other holy books, were the result of such extreme treatment of the body. I have read before that fasting can produce altered states of consciousness. If you don't eat because you aren't hungry, that is one thing. But to forcibly make yourself go hungry, I just don't see the use for it. Of course, we can say that for people who eat all the time or the "three meals a day" whether they are hungry or not. Don't eat if you aren't hungry. Maybe that is the key.

Anwyay, discovered that what I had been reading about spaphetti squash is true as I decided to cook some up and see for myself and so I prepared some the other night in what I will call "chicken parmesiano". I cooked up my chicken breasts, and microwaved the s. squash for about 14 minutes. Once I got it out I cut it open, scooped out the seeds, and then began pulling out the strands. I then understood why it is called spaghetti squash. Through all that cooking, those strands held up. It actually seemed more like vermacelli or angel hair pasta. Then I layered the chicken, cheeses, squash, and a low carb spaghetti sauce in a glass baking dish and baked it until the cheese melted. Yummy!! I can think of all kinds of uses for that squash, so it is definitely becoming part of our diet. Outstanding.

Donatos has "doughless pizzas" for those who can have a higher carb count that those on induction. I think, as I wrote before, that the time has come for me to make some changes and add more nutrition to this diet. Either I will move into ongoing weight loss or try another low carb diet to see how it works. Suzanne Sommers has some cool ideas, too, although her diet involves more food combining, no eating anything with fruit, and no eating after having eaten fruit for three hours. That may be more work than I am prepared to deal with. However, I think the end result of Dr. Atkins is that you eventually are eating a whole foods diet, not going back to the usual American diet. Who knows, after Atkins, you may become a vegetarian. I could see that if the person involved nixes beef and pork, etc. I admit that it is hard doing the low carb lifestyle in my area. One health food store has most of what we use that is necessary to the "nuts and bolts" of things, but eating out is a pain. Yes, you can even do fast food without ordering a hamburger and removing its bun. Salads with cheese, bacon, etc., but that gets old after a while and eventually, you could easily succumb to temptation (not that I never have.....:)). Those salads get old real fast. Surely someplace out there offers low carb on their menus like TGI Friday's used to. I know that I just need to get motivated to cook more, and to cook ahead, making meals ahead of time during the week, particularly lunches. I'd also need to find a way to make quick breakfasts for once I get a job and get working again. It sounds so easy, but it is really a challenge, especially if you are doing a different way of eating. Any suggestions would help.

Hmmmmmmmmmm

2006-09-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

I found this link on livin' lavida lo carb blog. It's about fasting, intermittant fasting. Maybe, skipping meals isn't so bad after all. One thing about a high protein, low carb diet: you aren't as ravenously hungry anyway so a fast here and there might not be so bad. If you think about it, if you do go without eating, at some point, you don't feel hungry anymore anyway, until you eat again. Not a bad idea.

Unbalanced?

2006-09-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

I am wondering if I am just getting totally unbalanced. I either go over my 20 carb allowance or almost none at all. I think it is time I start seriously thinking about upping my carbs to about 30 grams per day. I actually think, I have been getting approximately 20-25 average a day. I wonder if I shouldn't start adding real carbs in: berries or little pieces of melon. I am eventually going to come to a point where I have to start adding some fruit or starchier veggies back to my diet. I will discuss this with my daughter tonight and see what she says. If she is ready, then I will start. We do eat nuts from time to time, but not necessarily everyday. Maybe the berries will take care of some cravings too.

This morning, we had scrambled eggs and cheese and bacon. I really need to quit buying regular bacon and get the low nitrate or no nitrate stuff. If it is of any worth mentioning: the crappiest foods are the ones that are always on sale to be affordable. Organic veggies are almost more expensive than regular, happy chickens (free range) are usually more expensive than sad, tortured chickens (Tysons), nitrate loaded bacon cheaper than good non-nitrate bacon, white bread cheaper than Ezekiel bread. That is sad, and the outcry against obesity--even poor people are overweight and are actually more likely to be so. Think about it this way (and I know from personal experience): if you go to the grocery, you have more than one mouth to feed and only $20 to feed them for the week, what are you going to buy? You won't be buying fruits and veggies unless they are something like cannedl peas; instead, you get the cheapest stuff: boxed mac and cheese dinners, Hamburger helper, etc. It is junk like this that the supermarket chains put on sale. Everyone could benefit from organic produce and happy chickens, Ezekiel bread--even without doing low carb. But it is those high carb meals that make poor people fat. It is the junk that has the longest shelf life. In fact, none of my local supermarkets carry no nitrate bacon and happy chickens. I will give them credit for carrying more organic produce, although the selection for a low carber isn't that good. I also give them credit for organic eggs, milk, cream, and eggs from happy chickens. Lots of vegetarian stuff and meatless meats. I have seen Ezekiel breads too. I have to go to Dorothy Lane Market (one of the coolest places on the planet--has been featured on the FoodNetwork for their bakery and candies from Guylain) to find no-nitrate bacon -- and it is expensive! I looked for happy chickens there too, but I am not sure they were necessarily happy: the label said "vegetarian fed" chickens: I didn't notice if they were free range. There should be a difference, although veggie fed chickies should still be better than chickens fed the usual feed. (And we aren't talking about corn and stuff like that--let's talk protein pellets of other animals--chickens remember, in nature are not meat eaters).

Enough of those musing, I still see myself later on eating more fish, tofu, and whole foods. I hate that this spinach thing has been going on. I hate cooked spinach.

A. and I really need to pay more attention to our carb counts for the next few days before moving on to adding more in.

He he: maybe I should just observe my cat: cats are natures low carbers!! :))

I'm back

2006-09-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, my weight is really bouncing around and I am not getting anywhere. I'm just going to have to buckle down and work harder at this. Time to go to the park and walk. Weather here is alot cooler than it has been. Weather reports indicate that we'll start getting into the 40s at night. Good sleeping weather. Should be good outdoor sports weather, too. Anyway, I also finally signed up for adsense to get some advertising going. Can't wait to see how that is going to work out. Hope my daughter can help me get my pages set up.

Getting Worried

2006-09-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

A. got up this morning and found she is down to 200. I have yet to get to that mark as it seems I am stuck and not going anywhere. I guess I really need to get out and start walking or running more. She is taking a weight training class at WSU but I cannot imagine that that is helping her. She missed one or two classes already, and hasn't said if the instructors give them time to do cardio, other than for warm up. She has several inches in height on me as well as being big boned. She takes after her dad's side of the family. Mine were all shorties.

I am also getting worried because of my job situation. Obviously, I did not get picked for either of the positions that I interviewed for over a week ago. You know, that is frustrating when you have to drive well over an hour to get someplace--then not get picked. I have said that I am willing to relocate, but it seems that if you live pretty far away from a place that they don't want you. they still want someone who lives close by. Of course, I have not yet heard anything from the three law offices that are within walking distance. However, they don't really look like good prospects anyway. I never see anything more than the same cars in their driveways on any given day. Not a lot of individual clients, I guess. I really do not want to do call center work again. I despise working in call centers so badly. They're okay if you are 19 years old and having to pay your own way to college. But not for me. So I signed up for AD-Sense. I need some way to make this blog more interesting and get it out there for the world to see and click on those little links.

Well, I haven't weighed yet. I will do that here in a few.

Oh, well.....

2006-09-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened Friday night. I blew it. I knew better, but when I got to the restaurant, I did it anyway. I ate potatoes and I ate pita bread. There's a little pub and eatery in my home town called Tickets, kind of a pub/sportsbar/grill mom and pop joint. The food is cheap and good, primarily greek (lots of gyros on the menu). Lonely or just plain bored and starving. So I ordered this meal that came with a greek salad (not a bad choice, oil/vinegar dressing, hunks of feta and some olives over the salad greens), but the meal also came with homefries (fried potatoes and onions) and the strips of meat, sauce, and wedges of pita bread. I pretty much cleaned my place (didn't eat all the potatoes fortunately). However, I felt so guilty afterwards that the next day I was "back on track" immediately. Something about guilt that puts a person back where he or she needs to be. Guilt can actually be used for good purposes. So I am still hanging with Dr. Atkins, just hope he didn't turn over in his grave.

On the up side, I did finally purchase a multivitamin and some other supplements. I've been taking omega or fish oil tabs, but I really needed a multivitamin, a woman's multi. Then I also got some cod liver oil tabs and evening primrose oil tabs. I know I need to be taking CQ 10, but I will have to get more money together for those. The ones that actually work, tend to be expensive. My reasons though for the evening primrose oil and the vitamin that I actually bought has to do with some female problems I have been having. Mennorraghia, sometimes so bad that I have been near fainting from so much blood loss. Then I read about some things that could help. Don Quai, the female genseng, is supposed to help with this and to be honest, I think it has already started working. Losing weight has helped too. But until I have completely lost my weight, I am not out of the woods (unless I want to just go and have a hysterectomy which I do not really want to do, and for the same reason that I would not have bariatric surgery: I don't want to be anestetized and cut open). The multi vitamin has this in it, plus I bought some tea dn I think it is already helping. Yayyyy!!! The near fainting problems happened some time back, the last time being right on New Years. I ended up having to lie on the couch and could not go anywhere on New Years Eve. Once, though, back on Atkins and losing weight, I haven't had this problem to the same extreme. But still back, so hopefully the herbs will help.

Another day in the World of Atkins

2006-09-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

It's 11:30 and I have not yet had breakfast, but I've been awake for more than 2 hours. I hate unemployment partially for that reason. I like having a reason to get up, rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off, and nearly breaking my neck getting down the stairs. There is something about that rush that gets the brain functioning, and if you work things out well enough, you can eat breakfast. But if I am not working, then I tend to put breakfast off. Fortunately, what I love about Atkins, is that I no longer have to binge. If I am not eating sugar or carbs, I no longer get that deep biting hunger than has me grabbing everything in sight and shoving it in.

Last night, A. and I decided to try having breakfast for dinner. I tried making atkins pancakes. I would swear that I had just a basic recipe using atkins baking mix somewhere, and wouldn't you know it, I couldn't find it once I really needed it. I did find a way to make my own atkins baking mix, but the pancakes weren't all that good. I must try something else. I gotta keep looking because I know there is a recipe.

We are trying harder to get our veggies in.

Oh, yes

2006-09-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

I am at 201 now. My mini goal is to get to at least 195 by mid september. I don't know if I'll make that since my weightloss is slowing down. But I will keep trying. There's that exercise thing too.

Two Days in a Row?

2006-09-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

How cool is that? Only I really don't have much to discuss, except that I have not eaten much today and have not needed to. I had breakfast with coffee (and cream!!!), and a "southwestern" style breakfast burrito, including one lo carb wrap (I am ever so grateful for those now), with scrambled eggs, sauteed peppers and onions, cheese, green salsa, and sour cream. I fixed my daughter something similar for lunch/dinner except that we used ground turkey in place of the eggs. She enjoyed it. I only wish I would learn not to touch certain places on my face after handling chili peppers. My nose felt like it was being barbequed. Remember to always wash your hands when handling stuff like that.

My daughter does not care much for eggs. There is something about the consistency or the way they go down that does not agree with her, so I am always careful about fixing them with other ingredients. Today, she didn't have any.

Anything else interesting? Diet wise, no. No real desires for any particular thing to eat, and it seems one meal seems to have sufficed. Good old Atkins!

It's been a couple of days

2006-09-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

I know its been a couple of days, but here I am. Yesterday was interesting, to put it mildly. I drove from my home in Fairborn, east of Dayton, all the way into the heart of Cincinnati to a job interview, in my junker car. I know that in previous periods of my life, this type of anxiety would have me consuming an entire half gallon of ice cream. As it turned out, the worst was that I did get lost, and, yes, I was 10 minutes late. Still, I had a nice conversation and interview, and it is possible that I could still get the job. What will happen is that if I do get it, I will probably rent an apartment down there, and allow my daughter (she's 21) keep this place up here. She is attending a university this fall that is only about 10 minutes away. This job in Cincy would be over an hour's drive. Still, it sounds very tempting. I shall see. I had another interview at a place closer but the Cincy job really sounds more secure. This leads me to another reason for eating, eating too much or the wrong things, or possibly having cravings: anxiety. And I can remember this from my married days only too well. It was a way to cope with nerves. Still, this time, I did survive the trip down and back (inspite of getting lost), and my diet survived intact as well.

One thing that I have come to realize over time is that if you become aware of why you eat the way you do, overeat, etc., why you choose certain foods, then it becomes easier to correct those things that need to be changed so that you can lose weight. Know thyself, I guess.

I can remember something that my ex's wife (shall I say "trophy" boys and girls?) who was actually bigger than myself at one point, but who got surgery instead, said that until the surgery (she had that bariatric surgery) and the weightloss that followed, she'd never realized just what an emotional eater she was. I wonder how much that applies to us. Unfortunately for her, her addiction to food has shifted to alcohol (she can no longer have any in the house whatsoever because she was becoming addicted) and to her prescription drugs that her husband has to keep locked away from her now. While the surgery does wonders for people who need immediate weightloss (such as their heart is going to give way soon if they don't--and I know of people like that), but for people whose problem isn't quite so serious and is more like hers, these people need a long term diet of slow weightloss. Retraining the eating habits and gaining self knowledge take time, but this is what is necessary to be successful and to keep it off. It isn't so much, in my own opinion, that quick easy weightloss necessarily is bad because you gain it back (and yes, you do) and then some, but that you didn't have the chance to learn the lessons you needed to learn along the way. It's those lessons that help to keep the pounds off once you get to your goal. I don't know what is going on with her now since none of us are on speaking terms at this point. (It's a long story).

What is something else to discuss? How about some of the reactions I have had to eating more "exotic" meats--for me, that means anything beyond, beef, pork, chicken, and fish. I actually have become almost nauseous when about to eat something like duck or goose. I don't even know why. As a child, anything not human, cat, or dog was fair game. So I'd had venison roast, turtle (don't ask?), pate au foie gras, crab, and god only knows what else. It never bothered me. Now it does. A few years back I was offered some deermeat jerky. I took a couple of bites (and actually pretty good tasting), but I became ill. I think it was the words "deer meat" that just hit me a certain way. I couldn't eat it, and my friends said I turned white as a sheet. My stomach didn't feel good either. Once when about to eat duck at a chinese buffet (they aren't as good as a sit down, order separate entrees kind of places), I looked at it, it actually did look disgusting, but I got a flash picture in my head of a mother duck and her babies. Well, what now. Not only could I not eat it, but I felt ill again. I can't bring myself to eat veal (baby male calves), lamb, lobster( I have this weird notion of what I will find if I crack open its shell (and I am not wanting to see its vital organs), and other critters. I think eventually I will become a chicken and fish person primarily. Maybe with a little shrimp thrown in for good measure. Funny how one changes as one gets older. Occasionally I worry about mad cow disease. Maybe I worry too much. Gotta get to working on something else I guess.

Hello World

2006-09-07T14:31:00.000-07:00

I got to do a little thinking just the other day and realized that we weren't eating as many veggies as we ought to be. I am well stocked up now, but now it means having to cook them. I think that is my problem. Veggies usually, if they are going to taste good, need some cooking. Somehow that should seem hypocritical considering that I probably don't do that when it comes to cooking something besides vegetables. Anyway, will check back in later.

Anyway, I actually tried to publish this post and discovered I had comments!!! That means I'm alive!!!!!!! (Sort of like "It's Alivvvvvvveeeee" from Frankenstein, or better yet Young Frankenstein). This should be fun. I would like to say Hi back and thank you for the encouragement. Right now I am not having too much fun. I want something with real sugar and or carbs in it right now. I shouldn't be but I am. I don't know what it is. Sometimes, when I get a craving, it is usually because I let myself get too hungry--not eating enough of the right stuff. Other times, I do this because I am "treating" myself: it's the old reward thing. Somehow you "deserve" a treat. So what if the treat has 20 to the 30th power grams of sugar and could put you in a diabetic coma just looking at it. Some how it is a reward. So there really is a behavioral angle to this: you have to learn to reward yourself some other way. A slim, healthy body should be reward enough, but it takes so long to get there.

Here's a little background info on how I gained my weight: I began gaining weight back when I was first married to my now ex-husband. He'd been in the military as a young man and had the habit of "inhaling" his food. (I guess there is military reasons for this). I had the habit of skipping breakfast and then gorging later on. Two pregnancies, birth control pills, and 4 sisters-in-law who were good cooks didn't help matters. Then there was the stress. My ex was never completely, shall we say "faithful" during the marriage, and towards the end, he was outright abusive. There was so much going on, that I ate for more emotional reasons. I could eat an entire bag of cookies, etc. Eating became a way to deal with the emptiness, the boredom, anger, and frustration that I was going through. Somehow, though, you never it see it while it is happening. You just know your eating is out of control and you don't know how to start getting it under control.

I will say that once out of that situation, my overeating issues did die down. Not that I was losing weight. I still ate carb filled meals, lots of hamburgers and french fries, fast food. Eventually I could pretty much give up cake, cookies, candy, just not ice cream--especially the really good stuff. And I still loved my carbs, especially potatoes. Last year (05), my daughter and I were attempting to do Atkins. I worked at a local supermarket. I swear, everyone in Beavercreek, Ohio buys ice cream and donuts. Every fall (this weekend coming up), Beavercreek hosts a Popcorn Festival. I would joke that they needed to rename it to the Ice cream Festival. That was painful, but I did stick to it.

Anyway, sorry about taking so long to read the comments that were left last. Once I figure things out here, I will respond. It nearly took me all day to get my links to show on my main page. Sometimes I cannot get my posts to show for awhile.

Here's to 30-in-30. Here's to our Livin' LaVida LoCarb guy. My weight is fluctuating from 203 to 201 this week. I'll say my starting weight for this week would have been about 203. Saturday, I will weigh and consider that my results for the week.

September 4, 2006 Labor Day

2006-09-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Well, today was pretty uneventful for me, diet wise. I did make a wonder ful pot of soup though, and A. liked it too. I got the original idea from a recipe from Dana Carpender's book of 500 low carb recipes. I just took it to another level, you might say. I used a large soup pot and poured in an entire container of organic chicken broth, a can of chinese stir fry veggies (think LaChoy), and some cut up cooked chicken breasts. I did add a little pepper but there was no need for salt. I heated it through and let it simmer for a short time and voila--yummy soup. Both A. and I ate about 2 bowls full. Still, I believe the carb count would have been may 3-4 grams even if that much. Unfortunately, the canned stir fry veggies have carrots, but considering how prepared, I don't think they will affect the old blood sugar.

A. and I have committed to the 30-in-30 low carb challenge. I tried to link two places to my blog but right now it doesn't appear to be working. Note to self: I need help. I had trouble getting my posts to show on the main page when I first started this. That seems to be over with. Now it is creating links. I will get there somehow.

Anyway, I will also tell you about my version of an italian soda (or French lemonade--whichever you prefer). I love Trader Joe's bottled Italian Lemon Sodas. Apparently, the Italians (and I have had them before at other places), are fond of these. Essentially, you take either club soda or sparkling water and add lemon juice and sweetener, which in my case was lemon juice (fresh squeezed) and sugar. I almost did not want to start Atkins again because of these deliriously wonderful drinks. (No high fructose corn syrup by the way--they do come from Italy). So I tried my own, and here it is. Take a glass, pour some sparkling water (and club soda does work), add a packet of Crystal light on the go lemonade packet (this is tart so add to taste), and then stir and add ice. You could, if you could somehow manage it, take a packet of unsweetened koolaid lemonade and add one of those new Splenda packets made just for koolaid type drinks and take the entire bottle of sparkling water to create a two liter of this drink. I say that because locally, one of our grocers carries two liter bottles of sparkling mineral water (and its cheap, too). I guess if you used a funnel to funnel in the flavorings, and something like a straw to stir everything, that might work. I tried pouring all the water into a pitcher and then mixing it that way: but the water tends to lose its fizz. This would be okay, if you intended to serve it right away. You could possibly also use real lemon juice. Again as much as you need to get the level of sweet/tart that you want. I like mine on the tart side, but no so much that I pucker. These are wonderfully refreshing especially when it is so hot outside. So that is my version of a low carb italian soda (or french lemonade--very similar).

Then there are french sodas. These make wonderful drinks for the low carb dieter, and I believe that even Dr. Atkins has recipes. To make one of these you need a glass of ice, pour about an ounce of a flavored coffee syrup (no sugar) into the bottom, pour in your club soda, and top off with some cream or half-n-half. Stir it abit. Yummy.

Anyway, I am now wondering what type of exercise I will be doing tomorrow. A. is starting back to college. She took off some time last spring and is now going to be going back. I just hope that the cafeteria on campus will have some things that she can eat. She always had to be creative at Sinclair--usually cobb salads. But now she is headed for a big university (still close to home). A much more diverse place in some respects to the small community college she was at before. Let's hope there is more diet diversity there too.

Need to write more

2006-09-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, I do need to write more. Currently unemployed and needing to find job. One thing about the previous job I had as a DR paralegal. I know now that I can do it. I really can. I just now need to opportunity. Somebody give me a freaking job!!! I will do it for you!! I will work more hours and get less pay than I should if it means getting to do the job!!!!!

I think workwise, I suffer from a lot of doubts about my abilities. Confidence is not one of my better traits and it may take awhile for that the change. But it can. I used to feel so hopeless about weightloss. There was no way I could eat low fat, and eat alot of veggies and stuff that was supposed to be good for me and lose weight, no matter how much time I spent in the gym. I was so addicted to sweets and carbs that I did not lose weight. I finally gave up trying, and about that time I discovered Dr. Robert Atkins. His is the only way I can lose weight. Even if I did not previously successfully take off the weight, there were enough changes to my system, that the addiction to sugar and carbs was greatly lessened. Now the challenge is to eat enough to fuel my metabolism which I am surprised even works at all. I seriously could go without eating forever, I think.

But this morning, I got up, wanting something more than eggs and other high protein items. I wanted sweet. Usually I am over this kind of thing. But I indulged in a sweet roll anyway, just this once. And I did not feel too bad. I think I will be one of those Atkins For Life people. I will be able to have carbs, just not like I used to. And considering how loose my jeans are, should I care. I still, however, need to learn to eat full meals and snacks while doing this. Not eating really is slowing down my metabolism and hence my weightloss. I am at the point where I am getting stuck in certain ranges, and if I cheat one day, somehow I lose better than sticking to the diet. I think the extra carbs might be actually what is now giving me the extra kick in the pounds department. EAting would definitely help.

What is problematic is that I don't really want to cook. Yet this is a crucial element to the weightloss success. I need to stick to Dr. Atkins menus, and shop around them, to prepare meals. Seems though that the idea of someone else fixing my food, and cleaning up afterwards is much more interesting. Still my options for dinner out are Chinese, and other Asian takeout, McD's salads, Wendy's salads, and hamburgers without buns. That gets old, and I have not had any kind of Asian type takeout in so long. I think Thai might be the best bet, but I don't know. And I am starting to miss eating stuff for breakfast besides eggs and meats. It means finding a recipe for Atkins baking mix because nobody around here carries the premade one. I could get some sugar free syrup (check those carbs) and make pancakes, etc. If I were working, however, I don't know how this would work.

Atkins Rules!

2006-08-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

Atkins Rules!

I haven't been posting as I should, but here goes. I am down to 201 now. But it has taken me so long to lose that 15 lbs. Now I have 15 more to go. I really wonder if it is because I don't eat breakfast (and many times other meals as well--even if I am hungry)? I actually drop more weight by eating than not. Now that I am unemployed due to business reasons, I can focus more on this new way of living (notice (I avoided the word diet). This week I did better by cheating a couple of times--I really believe that is how I got to the 201 point that I did. It must have been the boost to the old metabolism.

Part of my problem is that I don't want to cook or I'll have to go to the grocery, or plan out meals, or worse yet, work in the kitchen. I'm sick to death of fast food, either, burgers without buns and salads, or chicken salads. Going out for steaks is wonderful, but if there is no baked potato alongside, well...........
(and salads are getting old fast!) It is so hot and humid that I don't want to have to get up and move around (our AC isn't the most efficient in the world). I feel guilty for not getting out and exercising when we have walking trails, bike paths, a swimming pool, and a big open, currently unused baseball field in back (for knocking about some golf balls). I could go play golf. But now I just don't have the overwhelming desire to do so. What is wrong with me?

Update

2006-07-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a few days since I last posted. But since I started induction again, I have lost a total of 9 lbs over a 14 day period. I do not know if that is good but once I check the Atkins book, I shall know. I have decided to stay on Atkins until my weight is comfortably under 200 lbs. I cannot wait. Anyway, I notice that I am doing things differently this time and this time there is no room for failure--that means no going back to previous eating habits once I start putting carbs back into my diet. I notice for one thing, my thinking is different. Before, as soon as I started taking off the weight, I felt over energized and wanted to exercise. But I also started "feeling" thinner and started buying new clothes right away. It was if I was settling for just losing a few pounds. This time I am more patient and am not ready to settle for 10-15 lbs of weightloss. It is all or nothing this time. I am not settling for less than my goal, and that means hitting thrift stores and freecycle.com for the clothes I need to get me through this passage of time. My desire to exercise consists of making it up and down the stairs, lugging laundry up and down the stairs, etc. It may have more to do with the weather this time, but I do not know.

Clothes. What gal is not interested in clothes? Being five feet one and one half inches tall and weighing over 200 lbs is not conducive to finding attractive clothing. If I were at my normal weight, I would be wearing a size 8-10. Normally someone as short as me would look nice in a shorter skirt with stilettos. But when you wear a size 20, all skirts are made as if the person wearing them should be standing 8 feet tall. This does nothing to enhance a persons appearance. It is sloppy and gloppy looking on a shortie like me. Besides, have you ever noticed that the nicest and prettiest clothing on the racks, are not women's plus size clothing. It's the misses sizes that are the nicest. The prettiest dresses are always for thinner women. JC Penney, for the last couple of years has been carrying more trendy pieces for fat ladies, but still, there is so much in that department that just screams either "Granny" or "FAT". The nicer lined suits, that I had been looking at ($200 suits marked down to $59) before I started my new job, are all in the misses department, and even with these, the 18 and 20 are still too smal, and if they were not, I would still have to have them altered extensively. I admit I am tired of boring, nondescript clothing. Oh, I can sew, that is, if I really wanted to. I do not want to sew, having neither the energy or time. I'd love to find some wonderful designer pieces but even they are made for smaller sizes.

Even when I find "petite women's" or "women's petite" sizes, I still have to alter them. So we are back at square one. I cannot wait to get into petite sizes. Yes, Yes, Yes.

Atkins Rules!: July 2006

2006-07-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

Atkins Rules!: July 2006

Just got done with dinner. We had a steak, with some asparagus and butter, portabella slices sauteed in olive oil. That was good and I enjoyed it, but we had a similar meal earlier this week. I need a way to get more creative, definitely with veggies. That is where one can burn out quick. I tried my hand at making a dessert--like a banana type custard, except that it turned out more like a scrambled egg breakfast casserole. Still I managed to sweetenen up some creme fraiche using splenda, and topped it with that. That was its salvation. I am definitely saving this one for breakfast. Gotta get those cook books out.

today

2006-07-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I am feeling kind of bored with my food. In some ways, I don't even eat--if I cannot think of anything quick and "interesting" to eat. In fact, I've been skipping meals like crazy because of this. Interesting for me, if I were not doing Atkins, would probably be something sweet and chocolate or full of starches like bread. Or a hamburger and french fries, non diet cola....Hmm...... I wonder what this is telling me. Maybe I am more of an emotional eater than I thought, and boredom is one of the big ones. Either that or I want my old food so bad, I am rebelling against the discipline of Atkins. And I believe that a certain amound of rebellion is at the heart of my missing meals. I admit I am also rebelling against the thought of having to cook. Sometimes I love to cook but right now, that does not seem to be the case.

I shouldn't skip meals, though, because I it doesn't teach me anything except how to skip meals. I've heard it slows the metabolism and causes problems with blood sugar. I don't have the problem of gorging myself now though, because when I do get very hungry, it seems I have more self control about what I reach for. Still, I need to get some creativity in gear and get some low carb snacks together. I have some wonderful cheeses. I cannot find any low carb crackers anywhere but I know they exist. Must find.

What this is about

2006-07-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

My daughter and I have already started a live journal blog for both of us at http://2bigtimelosers.livejournal.com/ for this round of losing weight including before pictures that are posted to the site, but I want to have another one just for my own personal use. I also want to get better at using all the fun goodies that weblogs offer to make things more interesting, as well as maybe improve the writing skills that I seem to be allowing to lapse.

Anyway, my inspiration is the Livin' La Vida guy who lost 180 lbs doing Atkins. I love what Dr. Atkins really did for those of us struggling to lose weight on the then only really truly approved diet, the lowfat diet. I gained most of my weight this way really, as it made me even hungrier than if I were just eating "normal". Not only that but so much "low fat" is really high carbohydrate and sugar. Then to spend long periods of time (time that I really did not have) exercising, to not really make much difference, just made things more frustrating. I finally gave up.

I don't really remember when I first read Dr. Atkins's book, The New Diet Revolution, but I remember that my eyeballs nearly popped out of my head. I had suspected that there was something seriously flawed about "low fat"--and here was a real medical doctor confirming my suspicion and explaining to me why. It also harkened to something that a lone body builder in a gym told me about eating carbohydrates before working out. He told me that the body burns carbs before it ever burns fat. So if I have eaten carbs prior to working out, I would be burning carbs, not fat, not for a while at least. Anyway I think it explained why I spent a long time in the gym working out, but not losing any blubber. (I did get some great muscle tone, but little or no fat loss). Things really began to make sense.

I admit that I have begun Atkins and stayed on awhile before quitting. Just like any other type of weight loss, there are those struggles and I have still gotten discouraged and eventually given up. I do well on the induction portion of the diet, but I have problems making the adjustment to ongoing weightloss. It was my daughter's idea to set up the live journal, and I think the key point there is: ACCOUNTABILITY. This was something that got my attention at Livin' La Vida blog. If you make yourself public, you are going to be more motivated to succeed: you've got all those people out there who really do want you to succeed.... and that sense of I need to keep going because they're out there pushing me on. I know, I have heard time and time again: Do it for yourself. Still, doing it for others is a powerful force. If you don't go public, it is easier to just give up.

The last time I did Atkins, I really did well, given the fact that I was working 2 jobs, and going to school full time. One of my jobs was working as a cashier in a local supermarket. That was painful. It seemed that everyone going through the line was buying ice cream and donuts. Now I hadn't eaten donuts (my favorites are the simple glazed ones) in probably a year with or without a diet. Suddenly they looked utterly wonderful and I found myself wishing, just wishing for a taste. And ice cream.....well, that is one vice that my daughter and I share mutually..... still, I wasn't actually craving it........Still when it came time to finally move into the ongoing weightloss portion of the diet, things fell apart. This time, we want to make ourselves accountable so that we can succeed.